How to Find Happiness and Meaning in Every Day (Part One)

3-minute read

Are you feeling unmotivated and uninspired?

Fulfilment is something that we all strive for in our lives. However, most of us don’t know how to achieve it. Part one of, ‘How to Find Happiness and Meaning in Every Day,’ explores some key issues that might be preventing you from finding fulfilment in your life. Part Two, will then outline 5 steps you can take right now to create a more fulfilling and abundant life.

In the social media age, there’s a lot of discussion around finding your passion and purpose. Every time you open your phone there’s Sally in Hawaii with her Prada bag and don’t forget Samantha who just lost 20kg and now has a millionaire boyfriend whose taking her to Italy next month. Everyone, depicting their perfect life full of sunshine and rainbows because #livingmybestlife. 

While you're at home slaving away at your job. You think, what does #livingmybestlife even mean and how do I do it?

Do I quit my job and start an Only Fans account? It seemed to have worked for Candice or do I accept that Sugar daddy invite that just slid into my DMs?

What if I was to tell you, you don’t need Craig the Sugar daddy. There is another way.

How do I find my passion?

Firstly, let me ask you this, do you know what lights you up?

What gets you excited to jump out of bed in the morning?

If you have no idea, that’s normal. It only took me 29 years of trial and error to finally figure out what my passion or purpose was.

Side note: not everyone needs to have a higher purpose. It’s ok to prefer routine or normal life. If you ask me, there is nothing better than reading a good book and relaxing on the sofa.

If you don’t know what your passion is, you’re not alone. It’s a common theme I hear from my clients, ‘Deb, I just feel so unfulfilled and bored of life.’

While they no longer jump from diet to diet, they now jump from job to job or hobby to hobby. Unable to find the thing that makes them tick.

When we dive deeper during our sessions together, commonly it’s because their mind and body are disconnected. 

What does that mean?

When their mind and body are disconnected, commonly, they start to overthink or intellectualise, instead of feel.

It means they're struggling to identify their emotions and needs. When I ask them ‘how do you feel?’ the response is, ‘I think …’

Can you relate?

A common feature of food and body issues is an inability to identify emotions. At some point you either didn’t have the tools available to cope with the emotions you were experiencing, learned emotions were not safe or you were taught other people’s needs were more important than your own.

You adapted to feeling a lack of safety when emotions surfaced by using food, exercise or maybe even alcohol to soothe yourself.

It’s actually a very smart coping mechanism which at the time would have helped you. However, there comes a point where that adaptation is no longer helpful and becomes harmful. 

The key to fulfilment is meeting your needs

If you can’t identify your emotions, you won’t know which needs are not being met. When needs aren’t met it creates emotional pain, which continues the overeating or maladaptive behaviour cycle to numb the pain. 

Learning to meet your needs can help you bring more joy, gratitude, safety, calm and play into your life. Instead of anxiety, loneliness, fear or anger.

Want to learn how to identify your emotions and meet your needs?

Stay tuned for Part Two - 5 Steps to Help You Create a Fulfilling Life